Maybe you:
- Notice a small change in someone’s tone, texting, or affection and immediately think, “Are they mad at me?”
- Spiral when someone doesn’t respond or needs space and wonder if they’re pulling away.
- Replay conversations, reread texts, or look for clues about what someone is thinking or feeling. Worry that you’re “too much,” too needy, or care more about the relationship than they do.
- Feel completely fine once you know everything is okay until something changes again.
You want to feel close to the people you love without constantly worrying about where you stand withthem
Anxious Attachment Style Therapy In Denver Colorado
It may be time to reach out for support when relationship anxiety starts taking up more of your day than you want it to
Here Are Some Reasons You Could Benefit From Anxious Attachment Therapy
- Have trouble focusing on work, friends, or your own life when something feels “off” in a relationship.
- Send long texts or over explain because you desperately want the other person to understand where you’re coming from.
- Need reassurance to calm down, but notice the relief doesn’t seem to last very long.
- Feel embarrassed after getting upset and think,“Why did I react like that?” or “Why can’t I just be chill?”
- Find yourself repeatedly drawn to relationships where you’re unsure how the other person feels about you.
- Let someone take space without spending the entire day wondering if they’re leaving.
- Ask directly for reassurance, affection, or communication instead of hoping someone will figure out what you need.
- Notice someone is in a bad mood without automatically assuming you caused it.
- Enjoy time with friends, work, or your own plans without constantly checking your phone or thinking about your relationship.
- Trust that you can handle uncertainty without needing to solve everything immediately.
Benefits of Anxious Attachment Therapy
We’ll look at what happens for you in those moments and help you find ways to respond that don’t leave you feeling more anxious, ashamed, or disconnected afterward.We’ll also make space for the bigger picture your past relationships, experiences with closeness and rejection, boundaries, needs, communication, and who you are outside of your relationships.
I want to help you build relationships where you can care deeply about someone without your entire sense of security depending on what they do next.
My Approach to Anxious Attachment Therapy
What The first few Sessions Look like
In our first session, we'll meet together and talk about what brings you to therapy, what feels difficult right now, and what you hope will change
Before we jump into changing anything, I want to get to know you.
That means building trust, creating a space where you don't feel judged, and helping you feel comfortable enough to be honest about what's really going on.
I know therapy can feel vulnerable, so I don't expect you to tell me everything on day one.
We'll move at a pace that feels safe.
2. We Get Curious
We'll explore things like:
- your relationships
- your family
- your childhood
- your emotional experiences
- the ways you've learned to cope
- what your nervous system has experienced
- what has shaped who you are today
3. We Begin Connecting the Dots
As I get to know you, We'll start noticing patterns.
I'll often share observations like,
- "I'm wondering if these two experiences might be connected."or "This actually makes a lot of sense given what you've been through."
- This is where I bring in psychoeducation, attachment theory, EMDR, IFS, neuroscience, and relational research.
- Not to overwhelm you with information… But to help you understand yourself, gain self-awareness with more compassion for yourself and your relationships.
4. We Build Awareness
Instead we can slow things down and ask:
- What am I feeling?
- What am I needing?
- Where did I learn this?
- Is this response still serving me today?
5. We Practice Something Different & Keep Practicing (it takes time)
Together we'll begin experimenting with new ways of:
- communicating
- setting boundaries
- regulating emotions
- asking for needs
- responding during conflict
- relating to yourself
- relating to the people you love
"I wholeheartedly recommend Rachel Sailer for couples, families, or individuals seeking therapy. She brings a rare combination of clinical skill, warmth, and authenticity to her practice. Her ability to create a safe, nonjudgmental space allows clients to explore difficult emotions while feeling genuinely supported and understood. You are in excellent hands with Rachel."
With Love From: Chloé
"HER ABILITY TO CREATE A SAFE, NONJUDGMENTAL SPACE ALLOWS CLIENTS TO EXPLORE DIFFICULT EMOTIONS WHILE FEELING GENUINELY SUPPORTED AND UNDERSTOOD."
"Rachel brings authenticity, dedication, and a genuine desire to help her clients into her clinical work. Her attachment and systemic-based approach helps clients heal and grow in a safe and well-informed space." -
With Love From: Sophie
"HER ATTACHMENT AND SYSTEMIC-BASED APPROACH HELPS CLIENTS HEAL AND GROW IN A SAFE AND WELL-INFORMED SPACE."
"Rachel is among the most dedicated and passionate clinicians I've had the pleasure of working with. She is constantly adding new knowledge and skills to her attachment-based approach, making her an adept therapist for couples, parents, and individuals."
With Love From: Jeremy
"SHE IS CONSTANTLY ADDING NEW KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS TO HER ATTACHMENT-BASED APPROACH, MAKING HER AN ADEPT THERAPIST FOR COUPLES, PARENTS, AND INDIVIDUALS."
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Frequently Asked Questions ABout Anxious Attachment Therapy
What is anxious attachment?
Anxious attachment is a pattern where relationships can bring up a lot of worry, overthinking, and fear of losing connection. You might really value closeness but also find yourself wondering where you stand with someone or whether something has changed.
It can look like needing reassurance, feeling sensitive to changes in someone’s tone or communication, struggling when someone needs space, or worrying that you’re “too much.” Anxious attachment doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you it’s a relationship pattern that we can understand and work with in therapy.
Can anxious attachment make me question whether my relationship is right?
Yes. Anxious attachment can sometimes make it difficult to tell the difference between a relationship concern and the fear that something could be wrong.
You might find yourself repeatedly asking, “Is this the right person?” “Do they love me enough?” “Are we compatible?” or “What if I’m settling?” You may feel temporarily better when you get reassurance, only for another question to come up later.
In therapy, we can slow these questions down rather than trying to immediately answer them. Together, we can explore what may be coming from anxiety or an attachment pattern and what may be important information about your relationship, so you can make decisions from a more grounded place.
Yes! I work with both individuals and couples who are struggling with anxious attachment patterns.
In individual therapy, we can explore things like overthinking your relationships, needing frequent reassurance, worrying that someone is pulling away, struggling when someone needs space, or feeling unsure about where you stand. We can work on understanding where these patterns come from while helping you feel more secure in yourself and your relationships.
In couples therapy, I often work with couples who feel stuck in a pursuer-withdrawer cycle—where one partner seeks more closeness, reassurance, or communication while the other tends to pull away, shut down, or need more space. Therapy can help you understand the pattern between you, communicate your needs differently, and create a relationship where both partners feel more secure, understood, and connected.
Can therapy help with anxious attachment?
Yes. Therapy can help you understand where your relationship patterns come from while also helping you respond differently when those patterns get activated.
Our work might include learning to recognize your triggers, slowing down before immediately seeking reassurance, communicating what you need more directly, setting boundaries, and building more trust in yourself. The goal isn’t to stop wanting closeness or needing other people. It’s to help you feel more secure in yourself and your relationships, even when there is uncertainty.
Do you offer in-person and virtual therapy?
Yes! I offer both in-person and virtual therapy to give you options for what works best with your schedules.
I offer in-person sessions on Tuesdays and Thursdays and virtual sessions on Mondays and Wednesdays 10:00 AM–600 PM
We can talk during your free consultation about which option works best for both of you.
What are your fees, and do you accept insurance?
I am a private-pay practice and do not accept insurance.
(50 minutes Session: $160
(90 minutes) Session $240
If you have out-of-network benefits, I'm happy to provide a monthly superbill that you can submit to your insurance company for possible reimbursement. I also offer a free 15-minute consultation so we can discuss your goals, answer your questions, and see if we're a good fit before scheduling your first session.
Dating & Relationship Therapy for Young Adults
Trauma & EMDR Therapy
OCD Therapy
OTHER SERVICE I OFFER
Couples Therapy
PREMARITAL COUNSELING
Therapy for Avoidant (Avoidant Attachment)
Therapy for Anxiety (Anxious Attachment)
[ Select a type to find out more ]
If relationships leave you feeling like you’re constantly waiting for the next text, reassurance,
conversation, or sign that everything is okay, you don’t have to keep navigating that cycle on your own.
You can feel deeply connected to other people while also feeling secure in yourself.
If that’s what you’re looking for, I’d love to talk with you and see if we might be a good fit.