- Maybe you're adults now, but somehow you're still the responsible one, the sensitive one, the difficult one, the successful one, or the one expected to keep everyone happy.
- You might be wondering:
- Why do I feel like I'm 12 again every time I'm around my family?
- Why am I always the one expected to fix things or keep the peace?
- Why does my sibling still see me as the person I was growing up?
- How can we remember the same childhood so differently?
- Why do I feel guilty setting boundaries with my sibling?
Therapy can give you a place to finally talk about it.
Sibling Therapy in
Denver, Colorado
Maybe nothing is terribly wrong between you and your sibling, but the relationship feels harder than you want it to.
Or maybe years of hurt, resentment, or distance have built up and neither of you knows how to move forward.
Here Are Some Reasons You Could Benefit From Sibling Therapy
- You keep falling into the same roles you had growing up, even though you're adults now.
- You feel responsible for your sibling's feelings, choices, or wellbeing.
- You compare your life, relationships, career, or success to your sibling's.
- You struggle with resentment, jealousy, favoritism, competition, or feeling like things were never fair.
- You're navigating boundaries, aging parents, caregiving, grief, money, inheritance, marriage, children, or another family transition.
Sometimes the argument you're having today isn't only about what happened today.
It may be connected to years of feeling like I was always the responsible one, you were always Mom's favorite, no one ever took my side, or I've spent my whole life taking care of everyone.
- Get out of old family roles instead of automatically becoming the caretaker, peacekeeper, problem child, or responsible one.
- Talk about resentment and hurt more directly rather than letting years of unspoken feelings build up.
- Set boundaries without as much guilt and recognize what you're responsible for and what you're not.
- Understand each other's experience without needing your sibling to remember childhood exactly the way you do.
- Build an adult relationship that fits who you are now, rather than continuing the relationship you learned to have as kids.
The ways we learned to handle closeness, competition, conflict, jealousy, responsibility, and feeling left out can follow us into friendships, romantic relationships, and even work.
Understanding where those patterns started can help you respond differently now.
Benefits of Sibling Therapy
- What role does each of you fall into?
- What happens when one of you feels hurt?
- Who speaks up?
- Who shuts down?
- Who feels responsible for fixing everything?
- What are you still holding onto from childhood?
- And what would you like your relationship to look like now that you're adults?
My Approach to Sibling Therapy
What The first few Sessions Look like
1. We Build Safety First
In our first session, we'll meet together and talk about what brings you to therapy, what feels difficult right now, and what you hope will change
Before we jump into changing anything, I want to get to know you.
That means building trust, creating a space where you don't feel judged, and helping you feel comfortable enough to be honest about what's really going on.
I know therapy can feel vulnerable, so I don't expect you to tell me everything on day one.
We'll move at a pace that feels safe.
2. We Get Curious
We'll explore things like:
- your relationships
- your family
- your childhood
- your emotional experiences
- the ways you've learned to cope
- what your nervous system has experienced
- what has shaped who you are today
3. We Begin Connecting the Dots
As I get to know you, We'll start noticing patterns.
I'll often share observations like,
- "I'm wondering if these two experiences might be connected."or "This actually makes a lot of sense given what you've been through."
- This is where I bring in psychoeducation, attachment theory, EMDR, IFS, neuroscience, and relational research.
- Not to overwhelm you with information… But to help you understand yourself, gain self-awareness with more compassion for yourself and your relationships.
4. We Build Awareness
Instead we can slow things down and ask:
- What am I feeling?
- What am I needing?
- Where did I learn this?
- Is this response still serving me today?
5. We Practice Something Different & Keep Practicing (it takes time)
Together we'll begin experimenting with new ways of:
- communicating
- setting boundaries
- regulating emotions
- asking for needs
- responding during conflict
- relating to yourself
- relating to the people you love
"I wholeheartedly recommend Rachel Sailer for couples, families, or individuals seeking therapy. She brings a rare combination of clinical skill, warmth, and authenticity to her practice. Her ability to create a safe, nonjudgmental space allows clients to explore difficult emotions while feeling genuinely supported and understood. You are in excellent hands with Rachel."
With Love From: Chloé
"HER ABILITY TO CREATE A SAFE, NONJUDGMENTAL SPACE ALLOWS CLIENTS TO EXPLORE DIFFICULT EMOTIONS WHILE FEELING GENUINELY SUPPORTED AND UNDERSTOOD."
"Rachel brings authenticity, dedication, and a genuine desire to help her clients into her clinical work. Her attachment and systemic-based approach helps clients heal and grow in a safe and well-informed space." -
With Love From: Sophie
"HER ATTACHMENT AND SYSTEMIC-BASED APPROACH HELPS CLIENTS HEAL AND GROW IN A SAFE AND WELL-INFORMED SPACE."
"Rachel is among the most dedicated and passionate clinicians I've had the pleasure of working with. She is constantly adding new knowledge and skills to her attachment-based approach, making her an adept therapist for couples, parents, and individuals."
With Love From: Jeremy
"SHE IS CONSTANTLY ADDING NEW KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS TO HER ATTACHMENT-BASED APPROACH, MAKING HER AN ADEPT THERAPIST FOR COUPLES, PARENTS, AND INDIVIDUALS."
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Frequently Asked Questions ABout Sibling Therapy
What is sibling therapy?
Sibling therapy is a space to work through the complicated parts of your relationship with your sibling, whether you come to therapy together or explore the relationship individually. You might talk about old family roles, resentment, jealousy, favoritism, boundaries, different memories of childhood, or patterns that keep showing up now that you're adults.
The goal isn't to decide which sibling is right. It's to better understand what's happening between you, work through what you're carrying from the past, and decide what you want your adult sibling relationship to look like moving forward.
Do We Have to Come to Therapy Together?
No. Sibling relationships can be explored in individual therapy or with siblings together.
Maybe your sibling isn't interested in therapy, but you want to understand why this relationship affects you so deeply, work through resentment, or learn how to set boundaries differently.
Or maybe both of you want a space where you can finally have conversations that haven't gone well on your own.
Either can be a place to start.
Can therapy help with sibling conflict and resentment?
Yes. Sibling conflict often has a much longer history than the argument happening today. Resentment can build from years of feeling like one sibling was favored, one person had to be the responsible one, your needs weren't taken seriously, or things in the family never felt fair.
Sibling therapy can give you space to talk about those experiences more directly, understand where the resentment comes from, and work on boundaries, communication, and repair. The goal doesn't have to be becoming best friends it can simply be finding a healthier way to relate to each other now.
Do you offer in-person and virtual therapy?
Yes! I offer both in-person and virtual therapy to give you options for what works best with your schedules.
I offer in-person sessions on Tuesdays and Thursdays and virtual sessions on Mondays and Wednesdays 10:00 AM–6:00 PM
We can talk during your free consultation about which option works best for both of you.
What are your fees, and do you accept insurance?
I am a private-pay practice and do not accept insurance.
(50 minutes Session: $160
(90 minutes) Session $240
If you have out-of-network benefits, I'm happy to provide a monthly superbill that you can submit to your insurance company for possible reimbursement. I also offer a free 15-minute consultation so we can discuss your goals, answer your questions, and see if we're a good fit before scheduling your first session.
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You can love your sibling and still struggle in your relationship with them. You can want a relationship with them and still need boundaries.
And you can care about your family without continuing to play the same role you've played your entire life. If you're ready to better understand your sibling relationship and figure out what you want it to look like moving forward, schedule a free consultation to see if we could be a good fit.